Yep, here it is...September 25th.  It's one of my most dreaded days of the year.  It was on this day four years ago that I had to say goodbye to my furry boy, Shooter :(

Geez, I just started writing and I'm already
crying! Okay, get a grip Doreen...

It was in 1993 when I adopted Shooter with my ex. I was walking between cages I saw him...he was in with a few other grey kittens but they were all sleeping in the back. This one lil grey furball comes up to where I had my finger next to the cage and grabs my finger with both paws. Instant love. Mark (my ex) said "keep looking, you haven't even seen the rest yet"! My Dad (who went with us) said "too
late, that one has already chosen Doreen". He was right. I signed the
adoption papers, wrote a check for $30 and out the door we went with this tiny
grey puff in the palm of Mark's hand. Over the years I often said
"Shooter, you were the best 30 bucks I've ever spent"!

We had no name for this lil guy and we didn't want to keep the one they gave him at The Humane Society ("Fluffy") so we took our time.  Then it happened...he was laying on Marks chest and randomely got up, stretched and peed on him. I laughed so hard and then said "SHOOTER!  That's his name!".

He was a little crazy as a kitten. Okay, a LOT crazy. My Mom nicknamed him "Psycho-kitty" for a few years. Well, I had said I wanted a kitten with personality - - boy did I get that wish!

Shooter was a good & faithful friend, not to mention my baby. He was there for me through many changes in my life. Moving, separation, moving, divorce, moving, a new marriage, moving, losing my Mom & moving again! Poor Shooter - so many changes and through it all he was always there, always putting a smile on my face no matter what I was going through. Even when I had a herniated disc and was out of it for weeks, he wouldn't leave my side.

Then there was 'that new guy' in my life.
Shooter wasn't too fond of Jim in the beginning. We went from just us two in a
one-bedroom apartment to now this new guy moving in. We were packing to go on a
cruise & Shooter was watching Jim. As soon as Jim turned to get more
clothes, Shooter jumped into the suitcase, peed on his shirts and jumped out.
Sounds like a pee-happy cat but he really wasn't. All he knew is there was a
suitcase being packed, this meant Mom was going to leave him for a few days =
not a happy boy. Eventually, the two of them bonded however and Shooter would
even at times go curl up on Jim's chest and sleep. It always warmed my heart to
see that.

 People say the most insensitive things sometimes someone suffers pet loss. Why is it that if I lose a family member everyone is so understanding and sensitive. But you lose a pet and it's "it was only a cat, just  get another one". I don't even speak to some of my family members, let alone cuddle with them on the couch every night! Add to that, raising him for 15 years while not ever having kids...he WAS my kid. By the way, I do believe that to a woman who does not have (human) children, her pet IS her child, period.

When Shooter was a couple years old he was diagnosed with kidney failure and TWO vets gave him 6 mo-2 years tops to live. I was devastated. People kept telling us to get a third opinion..."Take him to Dr. Allen" they'd say. Who was this vet? I didn't see ads for him anywhere! We found him in Plain City, Ohio. I took Shooter to Doc Allen and he agreed that Shooter WAS in renal failure but said "but we're not gonna give up on him yet". It worked & Dr. Allen remained Shooter's vet even after we moved (several times) and since Shooter lived to age 15, I'd say that was a great decision. There was one time I had Shooter there for another problem and I was crying...Doc Allen said "Shooters gonna be fine. I don't know about YOU though" I will ALWAYS be grateful to this man for all of that extra time I had with Shooter.

 So then there we were...Sept 25, 2008. Shooter had not been eating or drinking or 'going'...and he was losing weight. He was to the point where he had to go to the hospital in Columbus. He had developed tumors in his tummy. Shooter had cancer. The words felt like someone punched me in the gut, reached up and yanked my heart out. Could they remove the tumors? Yes....but they would just grow back and if I did nothing he would eventually starve himself to death. Neither option gave him a very good quality rest of his life. Jim and I sat in the room crying after getting the news, not knowing what we should do.

Just then I randomely heard from Shaun Vincent (co-worker, host of Afternoon Drive on Mix 107.7). I was on the phone with Shaun bawling and told him I didn't know what to do. He said "you DO know what to do and you know why you have to do it. To keep making him go through this would only be selfish and that's no life for SHOOTER, it would only be for you". I knew he was right but I hated it.

 While wrapped in his favorite blanket in a private room at the hospital, I had to say goodbye to my baby. I thought his eyes would close...they didn't. I will always regret not closing them for him. I could tell when it happened because I saw a light go behind his eyes from one eye to the next then out. No one can ever convince me that animals do not have a spirit, I witnessed his leaving. I told him I loved him and to go to Grandma until I get there. :'(

That was a Thursday. Jim took me directly to my Dr. for help because I was so crushed, I needed help. Jim took Friday off and even though he was one weekend away from finishing the airplane he was (re)building, he stopped and worked with me all weekend to build a little memorial spot in our backyard. We took all of his toys and climbing things and put them in what we now call "Shooter park" for the other two cats to play on in the back yard. It was the ONLY thing that made me feel any better at all that weekend. I will never forget the pain but I will also never forget that Jim dropped a project that was near a 6 yr completion to build "Shooter Park". By the way, this past Mother's Day Jim built a new 'kitty condo' for Shooter park. Here is what it looks like today:

 As I write this blog every year, I remember and honor Shooter. I also bawl my eyes out. It's something I will never get over. I will love and miss him for the rest of my life.