Women’s Rules for
Men
1) The woman always
makes the rules

2) The rules are
subject to change without notice

3) No man can
possibly know all the rules

4) If the woman
suspects the man knows the rules, she must immediately change a few

5) The woman is
never wrong

6) If it looks like
the woman is wrong, it's because of a misunderstanding caused by something the
man has done or said

7) If rule #6
applies, the man must apologize

8) The woman can
change her mind at any time

9) The man can not
change his mind without permission from the woman

10) The man is
expected to read the mind of the woman at all times

Men’s Rules for
Women

1) Learn to work
the toilet seat

2) Crying is
blackmail

3) Check your oil
(please)

4) Yes and No are
acceptable answers to almost any question

5) Anything we said
6 months ago is inadmissible

6) If you think
you're fat - you probably are - don't ask us

7) All men see in
16 colors - peach is a fruit and not a color

8) If something we
said can be interpreted in 2 ways and one makes you angry - then we meant the
other

9) Beer is to us as
handbags are to you

10) If we ask
what's wrong, and you say "nothing" then we will believe you